BFP!!!!!!

I had my first beta yesterday at 11dp3dt and it was 37.5. My RE's office said they would've liked it at 50 but that I am viably pregnant. They want my beta to have doubled by Monday when I have another beta test. They told me to be "cautiously excited" but I am completely excited with a side of uncertainty. This is my first and maybe only BFP ever and I want to enjoy every moment.

7dp3dt

I am getting nervous. I got my P4 today and it was 93.4 and the RE said that is a great number. Also there were a ton of BFP's on thebump.com today. I am afraid that I am getting my hopes up again and I will be one of those women who make the 50% sucess rate even out. Some days I feel like I am pregnant. I feel great, no pains at all. Other days, like today, I have a twinge of a cramp and am worried it is AF rearing her ugly head. I don't know what I will do if I get a BFFN on Friday. I'm not sure I can take more bad news. 23 months is enough.

2WW

Well the last week didn't really go as I had planned. I had my ER on Friday, Jan. 16th. They ended up only getting 5 eggs (with an expected 10-12). It hurt like a bitch and the women who did it has the compassion of a rock. When they called on Saturday they said that they were able to ICSI 4 of them and 2 of them fertilized. So on Monday (Jan. 19) we transferred two Grade A 4 and 5 celled embryos that I have named Cashew and Garbanzo. My first beta test is on the 30th. I keep talking to them coaxing them to grow and latch on. Hopefully I am being pursuasive. If not I don't know what we'll do. We have no more plan b's and no more money. Keeping my fingers crossed for a BFP!

Stim Day 12

I had my 3rd follie check today. I actually got to see my RE, Dr. G. He said he should be able to get 10-12 eggs on my retreival. I trigger tonight and go in Friday morning. I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED! I know it will be painful and distressing but I cannot wait to go. One more step closer to a BFP.

First Follie Check

Just got back from my first follie check. Today is Day 6 of stims. The doc who didn't was very forthcoming with the information but I managed to get out of him that my lining was 8 and I had 12 follies with the largest being 11. Some of the smaller ones were not yet measurable. He said that pending the bloodwork I'd probably have to go back for a second check on Monday. Not sure if this is good or bad but atleast I know where my numbers are at.

Stims - Day 4

So this morning I gave myself my shot and when I took out the needle blood shot into the air and landed on my eyebrow. Yuck! I of course, freaked out. What we won't do for a BFP! Update on my symptoms. I am a hot-flash queen. I wore a summer top to work today so I could bear the heat. Having some twinges in my ovaries but that it is all so far.

Stims - Day 3

Well I hope I am doing this right. I have given myself an IM shot in the morning and evening now and I feel nothing. I figured there would twinges or something, but so far Nada. The hardest part about giving myself the shots is intentionally hurting myself. It burns going in, it burns when I push the meds in and it burns coming out. I've become a masochist! Must stay postive!!!

Stims - Day 1

I got up this morning all ready to do my shot. First off I was supposed to reduce Lurpron from 10 Units to 5. I totally forgot. After I did that one I moved on to my very first Bravelle shot. I have been so excited since the RE told me it was a go. So I diligently took everything out and sorted it just like the directions said (once a Brownie, always a Brownie). I took 1 cc of solution and injected it into the first vial. Then when I extracted it it was less than 1cc. WTF!!!! So rather than waste the meds I moved on to the second vial and mixed that too. Now, since I failed to suppress in November my RE said I need to do the stims IM in stead of Sub-Q. So I took off the Q-cap and put on the 1 1/2 " needle. Yikes! I realize the idea is to have your DH do it but I decided to do it myself for 2 reasons:

1. My husband was born with a birth defect I can never remember the name of that when he came out of the birth canal he was stuck so the doctor pulled him out by his right arm and subsequently destroyed many of the nerves in his right arm. So he has very limited use of his right arm. We call it his "bad wing" or the "t-rex".

2. DH is so nervous about hurting me that I just don't want to put him thru that.

So, I began measuring the middle of my thigh (one hand by he knee, one had by the abdoment, shoot up in the middle section). I started to put the needle and HOLY SHIT it hurt like a bitch! I did just what I was supposed to do though and asperrated to see if there was blood and there wasn't so I kept on. And then I bled for an eon.

If there is any question about how bad I want a baby, let me tell you this. To shoot myself up TWICE a day IM style is not comfortable. But I will do what I have to do to get pregnant.

Hopefully it'll get easier.